How To Have An Orgy: Orgy Etiquette With Violet Myers

No matter how it goes, your first orgy is always memorable and likely even life changing. I know mine was, and it’s even better that it’s on film and I get to share all the juicy moments with you. (It’s called “High Gear” and I did it with Blacked Raw – so good!) However, whether it’s porn or in real life, there’s a etiquette that comes with having group sex. 

First, let me explain what an orgy is. An orgy is when multiple consenting people have sex with each other at the same time. Sometimes the terms “orgy” or “swingers party” are used for the same thing, but they aren’t. The latter is couples. A swingers party can be an orgy but an orgy is not always a swingers party. You follow? 

Just like one on one sex, there’s certain considerations and ways to be or not be. With group sex, there’s orgy etiquette to keep in mind in order to set yourself up for the most enjoyable orgy. 

Keep reading to learn my best orgy tips and how to have an orgy experience you won’t forget. 

What makes group sex exciting (besides the obvious)?

Outside of the obvious, orgies are exciting because the variety and the chemistry between different groups of people always lends for an exciting new experience. 

Even with the same group, changing the venue or the setting can bring different sides out of different people. It could be more spicy with certain partners and more sensual with others. The variety is everything! Also, there are sooo many chances to cum. I’ve cum ten times on my own before. With multiple partners in one session, you get to feel a variety of pleasures, strokes and touches, and maybe you’ll learn more about yourself and your own desires through group sexual experiences. 

How many people is an orgy & can there be too many?

While there’s no strict minimum number set to call it an orgy, it’s generally known  that it should involve at least five people, as group sex  involving three or four people are typically referred to as threesomes and foursomes, respectively. Five and above is an orgy. I don’t know if I’d ever say there’s a number that’s too many. Maybe there would be too many in terms of having sex with everyone there, but I’ve had an orgy with 14 people! At that point, it’s almost like a sex party. 

Is anything fair game at an orgy?

During an orgy, any form of sexual activity is permissible as long as all parties involved consent. This can be oral, penetrative intercourse, anal play, bondage, role-play, and various other activities. While orgies themselves feel liberated and free, there are unwritten rules… which is why orgy etiquette is important. 

Much like any sexual encounter, if someone says no, stop, that they need a pause or a break, you stop. But, your ‘reading the room’ skills have got to be way up because you’re being intimate with so many more people. 

Orgy etiquette: do’s and don’ts

It’s totally normal to be nervous before your first orgy. Maybe you’re just excited or realize you don’t even really know what you’re doing. Don’t worry. I got you! With my guide to orgy etiquette, you’ll never feel like you don’t know what’s up or like you can’t simply ask.. 

Orgy do’s

This is my little pre-orgy checklist and orgy tips for you to make sure you feel prepared and relaxed walking into an orgy.  

• Come clean and prepared. Hygiene and safety is important! 
• Always get and give clear consent. Verbal – or oral – is best! Let them hear it. 
• Establish your own boundaries before you get there and communicate them clearly. 
• Be open minded and keep a sex positive attitude. 
• Do your research on the host and attendees if possible. Look everyone up on socials and see if you can pick up anything about them. 
• Wear uncomplicated clothing that’s easy to remove. 
• Stay hydrated!
• Relax and don’t rush things. Chemistry can build conversation and familiarity. You’ll enjoy it more with more info on your partners. 
• Don’t get too drunk! Getting too intoxicated is not only messy, it can be prohibitive to erections, the sex and you might just be turning off others. 
• Recognize that rejection is part of the deal. Not everyone is going to like or be down for everything you want and that is ok. 
• Pitch in and clean up after yourself. 
• What happens in the orgy stays in the orgy. 

Orgy don’ts

Equally as important, there’s a bunch of things you don’t want to do to kill the vibes at the orgy or ensure you’re not invited back. 

• Don’t invite yourself or barge into a group where you aren’t invited. 
• Never fuck and tell! Running your mouth outside of the trust within the group is just not cool. 
• Don’t bring a plus one (or any extra people) without permission.
• Don’t participate in something you aren’t comfortable with or that crosses your own boundaries. 
• Don’t disrespect the host’s space or rules. 
• Don’t be critical or judgemental of people’s desires, bodies or vulnerability. 
• Don’t push people to answer personal questions they may not want to share regarding things like mutual friends, jobs, etc. 
• Don’t photograph or sneak pics before, during or after without explicit permission and consent. 
• Do not fall in love at the orgy.

Every orgy and group dynamic is different, so if you’re unsure of something, talk to the host beforehand, or ask questions while you’re there.

Orgy etiquette applies to hosts too

If you’re the orgy organizer or host and figuring out how to host an orgy for the first time, there’s an entirely other set of considerations. Whether you’re just inviting people that want to have sex with each other over or putting together an elaborate event, there is still orgy etiquette for the host. Here are what orgy hosts should consider, etiquette-wise.

• Clean your house. Wipe down surfaces. You don’t want guests turned off by a messy or dirty place. 
• Set both house (or location) and orgy ground rules in advance so guests know what to expect. 
• You can have color coded wristbands to let people identify how they want to participate. 
• Set a cut off time for arrival. For example, guests can arrive between 9 and 10 pm and after that they can forget it. 
• Consider keeping the drugs and drinks to a minimum. You don’t want hazy consent, but you do want people to be able to loosen up a bit. 
• Have a variety or small snacks that are easy on the stomach available. Sex ramps up the appetite and you don’t want anyone passing out at the party. 
• Provide and have extra condoms and lube readily available. 
• Space provided, set up space for privacy or even designated spaces or rooms for different vibes. This can also accommodate voyeurs or those that want privacy with solid or sheer curtains. 
• Figure out how you’re going to do introductions and execute that before the sex starts. 
• Consider ice breakers like strip poker or nude Twister. A classic game of spin the bottle is really the perfect fit. 
• Consider having someone to guide or lead the orgy. It doesn’t have to be you, but an experienced host that doubles as an orgy guide, or ‘master of ceremonies’, if you will, can make everyone feel comfortable and safe. 
• Have cleaning supplies and towels in sight so participants can use them when necessary. 

While learning how to plan an orgy can feel like a lot, it’s all about safety, vibes and fuel to get (and keep!) people going.

What if watching gets you off?

If you’re a little shy and maybe not so ready to (or into) participating or watching, you’re into voyeurism. A level of voyeurism is mostly expected, but the same rules of consent apply. You should check in about watching. Offer a compliment. Keep a respectable distance, and most importantly, don’t be a creep! 

Tips on how to have an orgy that feels like a fantasy

You guys know I love horror and cosplaying, so making an orgy feel like a fantasy is super fun to me. Here are my orgy tips for a fantasy-filled play party. 

• Establish a theme! It can be tied to hentai or a color or a show, but toys, party favors, snacks and whatever skimpy outfits can all be on theme. 
• Use flavored lube or flavored condoms can give you a mouth orgasm and make things taste more fun. 
• Agree to role play and be characters to live out an aligned fantasy with the group. It can be doctors and patients or other fun, sexy roles like anime characters.

And finally, let yourself enjoy it

Finally, explore and enjoy yourself! Focus on the pleasure. Figure out if you want to have main character energy or play a great supporting role and lean into that. Try to do your favorite things and learn new pleasures and positions with a variety of people. Just keep in mind those unwritten rules and orgy etiquette that make orgies fun and safe. 
Until then, keep the party going and come visit me on Camsoda.com. You could even turn it on during your next orgy to get everyone horny and ready to go.