Connect with us

Culture

Live Sex Advice with JetSetting Jasmine, Therapist to the Porn World Who Is Also a Performer

Live Sex Advice with JetSetting Jasmine, Therapist to the Porn World Who Is Also a Performer

Listen to JetSetting Jasmine audio interview

There are a few important factors to look for when you’re considering a therapist. Obviously, you want to confirm their credentials, but you’ll also want to look for specialties that are aligned with your needs, you’ll want to consider your chemistry and communication between you, and you may consider the cultural fit for deepened understanding of your lived experience. 

This is how licensed clinical psychotherapist and porn actress, JetSetting Jasmine, became a highly sought after psychotherapist for sex workers. She has produced and starred in her own porn for over 10 years and has been a therapist for longer than that working out of her own personal practice Blue Pearl Therapy in addition to being a kink educator and co-owning a porn studio with her partner. 

Her lived experience affords her clients a safe place to seek mental health support and help navigating their lives as sex workers without fear of shame from those who may not have an understanding of the adult industry. 

Your Favorite Therapist’s Live Sex Advice

An expert on boundaries and navigating life as a porn actress, Jasmine came to Camsoda with her therapist hat on to answer users’ questions and give live sex advice on camera. She also made it a point to mirror the healthy coping mechanisms she recommends by being vulnerable, naming her feelings about some technical difficulties and setting firm boundaries about the roles she plays in life and what users could expect from the live sex cams on Camsoda. 

We learned a lot! Here are a few questions from the live sex advice session and what she taught us.

This interview has been edited down for brevity. 

Does penis size matter? 

Yes.

My answer is yes, size does matter. The reason I say that is because however we show up, in our unique body, our unique disposition, our unique personality — that stuff matters. If you are a person (I’m definitely assuming this person is a penis holder) that is curious if other people care if someone has a large, medium, or small penis —  here’s the thing — some people really do care, because some people like a particular type of penetration. Some people like clitoral stimulation. Some people like a certain size in their mouth, in their ass, in their vagina in their hand. Those things matter. Pleasure in multiple different ways matters. 

It matters how you use whatever size member you have, and that really goes for not only penis holders, but I also get this question from women about the size of their breasts or people about the size of their bodies regardless of their gender presentation. They want to know if they are fit to fuck, right? They want to know if their vaginal walls and the elasticity matters, if their vulva lips matter, if they’re big enough or small enough matters, if having full lips or not full lips matter. These things are important to people. It’s about the things people are attracted to. 

Some things make people feel like it’s a good match physically. There’s a particular type of sexual disorder that vagina owners can experience called vaginismus. Someone with vaginismus may feel more comfortable with someone that has a smaller size penis or someone who has fingers that can maneuver in a particular way. You know? So, it does matter. I think that it is sort of dismissive to suggest that people don’t have sexual preferences when it comes to body types or that there can be really natural yummy matches. 

JetsettingJasmine
JetSetting Jasmine, no stranger to domination.

For me as a dominatrix, I love penis holders that have small penises that also enjoy a certain repertoire between us. I love doing cuck sessions and cuckolding that revolve around small penis humiliation or just small penis dirty talk, in general. Those kinds of activities in my personal fetish play and professional fetish play are a lot of fun for me, and they bring me a lot of pleasure. In order for me to enjoy pleasure in that particular way, it does take people with certain types of body types to participate. 

So, to that question, yes, it matters. Is it the reason why this person may have been asking? It was probably not their intention to get me to talk about penises in this particular way, but penis size does matter. It doesn’t mean anyone is more or less valuable. It just means we all have different preferences and we all have different matches. It’s not only physical matches, but like I talked about my own fetishes, sexual personality matches help us live out our sexual fantasies.

How do I tell my partner what I need in bed?

Be direct.

You can just say it, right? But the fact that this person is asking this question tells me right away, that there is a breakdown in communication for them. There’s an area where maybe it’s like, why are you having a challenge saying what it is that you want? 

I find a couple of things that come up. One is, “I don’t know what I want. So, I don’t know what to say.” Let’s take some time to talk it out and figure it out. Another thing I find is nervousness that if I say that I want this thing, that one of two things are going to happen. I’m going to be rejected, and sometimes not knowing feels better than knowing that you can’t actualize or have that thing. Or, the second thing is that I’m going to be made fun of or I’m going to be shamed, misunderstood, or ridiculed. And, all of those things can feel like rejection, obviously, too. 

Ask yourself what is making this challenging? And then, once you actually know what’s making it challenging, you can confront that, because the simple answer is to tell myself just to say it. I want more of this. I want less of that. That thing that I saw, I’d like you to do that, or the thing we did three months ago, I want to bring that back. If those are the words you’re having a challenge with, then there is something else there. 

Some of us don’t communicate really well, especially when it comes to sexual pleasures verbally. We need to text it or write it down. Or maybe we need to hint. I love a good hint. As verbal and open as I am with you here, in my more professional space when I’m doing kink play and fetish play and dominatrix work, I’m a lot less expressive with my personal partners face to face. It may just be because this person knows me really well. If someone in my virtual world doesn’t want to engage with me, then we’re not like right here with each other, but in my personal world, that’s like a little close. 

“give me that”

I love sending porn clips or pictures or erotic pictures. Sometimes, instead of being so forward like “give me that,” I might ask what do you think of this? How’s this make you feel? How did this make you feel when you watched it? If my partner goes, “Oh, that made me feel gross. This is terrible. Why did you send that to me?” Okay, maybe I have to think about another route. Or, I may need to think about another fantasy or desire to share with my partner. If my partner says, “Damn, that’s hot.” I can go, I’m glad that you say that because I’ve been really interested in that. 

Sometimes we can use other mediums. You can even say, “I was on this live [sex advice chat], and this therapist was talking about different fetishes and it made me think we haven’t talked about our different fetishes lately,” or something that you would enjoy doing sometimes. Or, it’s even inviting our partner to share space for us to share as well. Open up the opportunity for both of you to have dialogue. Nine times out of 10 your partner’s feeling the exact same way as you. They want to share something with you, but maybe they’re feeling a little nervous or there’s a breakdown in communication 

My camming addiction is affecting my real life relationship with my girlfriend, especially with sexual attraction. What do I do? 

Is camming an addiction?

I am so happy that you are willing to share that. Sometimes, we hear the word addiction, and it’s attached to porn, camming, sexual or sex related content or the adult industry in general. It’s conflated by what other people think, but if you yourself are saying, “My addiction – my time that I spend and the quality of the time that I spend with cam models that are in these spaces is having a negative effect on something that I care about in my day to day life, I find it problematic.” Guess what? That’s when it’s actually considered a problem. 

The reason why I share that is because we have to identify what is truly a problem for us versus what other people may feel is a problem. In this scenario, I see you are making it clear that you don’t like the behavior or the time or the quality of time that you’re spending camming, because you don’t like the outcome that it’s having on your real life relationship. I have to be careful when I say “real life” because camming is real life. This is real time and space that we’re sharing. But I do understand what you mean – your in-person relationship. 

So, your question, what do I do? First, acknowledge the fact that we can be attracted to multiple things and multiple kinks, activities, behaviors and people. So, that’s acknowledging that you can be sexually attracted to the model that you interact with and you can also have attraction for your girlfriend. Now, it’s about accepting that, sitting with it and going, “Hmm, if I don’t feel attracted to my girlfriend…” Maybe it’s time to take a moment and reevaluate your in-person relationship. Set time and really think about what it is that you do enjoy about your in real life relationship. What are things that the two of you do together? Share with one another? How did you come to be together? How do those things go for you? There are areas in that relationship that you need to perhaps pay more attention to improve upon. Ask for a different type of interaction between the both of you to actually talk about where the problem is. 

Jetsetting world domination.

It sounds like things that are happening in the cam world that you hang out in may not necessarily be directly related to the things happening with your in real life relationship. Take a moment and reflect on what it is about your current relationship that you would like to improve upon. Maybe cam is serving as a bit of an escape, perhaps, or maybe it’s a place that you go to enjoy things that you have not been open to wanting or have the space to share with your girlfriend. These are some questions to ask yourself and then open up the door to have a conversation with your girlfriend about those things. Perhaps you may find that some of the things that happen in cam may not be realistic to happen in your relationship, and that might be something to discuss. 

Sometimes we have to tell our partner, “These are the things that I enjoy about my porn, about interacting with sex workers online. Or, these might be the things I enjoy about gaming that I don’t get in our relationship. I don’t expect you to be everything to me. Because these are the things that you provide me and I really appreciate love and adore those things.” 

It’s just a lot of food for thought about ways that we can frame these things without necessarily hurting our partner or taking away from things that we may very well enjoy. Now to the term addiction. I want everyone to know that we get to decide if the activities that we’re participating in are having a negative impact on our activities of daily living. Our activities of daily living include going to work, caring for yourself, eating, grooming, getting up and taking care of your body, your responsibilities to life, and how you’re managing your relationships. You can think about things like, am I spending so much time with my virtual friends that I’m neglecting my in person relationships? I keep saying I want to stay away from saying in real life because again, our cam friends are real life. In person is really the differentiation there. Right? So am I neglecting time with my in person friends? If so, what would I like to do with them that I can’t do 

I think there’s some space there to think about how you can balance things a little bit more so that you can feel good about your hobby, things you can enjoy here and things you can experience within your in-person relationships. 

Continue Reading
You may also like...

More in Culture

To Top